reading..

its e-m-o time once again. its always at this period of the night... and the feeling utterly sucks. gawd

in any case... school's about to start soon. and i'm kinda dreading it.

u know the phrase overpromise and underdeliver? i think i always do that to myself in terms of results. ever since secondary school, i have never once felt like i've achieved much. i guess its cos how i've been brought up. my mum always said 一山还比一山高。its kinda been ingrained into my mind already. so perhaps at times i comfort myself by comparing my grades to my peers. but at the end of the day, have i actually achieved what i have wanted to achive for myself? or in other words have i defeated myself? the answer has so far remained a negative no, save for certain instances.

moving on, to something i don't think is any less depressing, but simply just a change in topic - the subject of mantaining relationships. nobody said it was easy. but nobody told me it was this tough too. its been difficult trying to meet up with people this hols. what with the stuff we do at the y, meetings in school for the race next year, and revamping the house. its been tough. and there are groups of people that i certainly do miss, from the bottom of my heart. (ARH EMO EMO HELP)

in any case, i feel much better now, since i've put typed some of it out. its jus the PHWOAR feeling if u get what i mean.

i shall go to my bed and read. reading takes my mind off things. puts me in a place where nobody can touch me if i don't let them. that's why i like reading, cowardly as it might seem to be hiding off in another world of my own. potter here i come (: